By Guest Blogger, Anne Judd
Building or renovating with a loved one. Are you sure………
It needs to be a considered decision to take the step to build or renovate a property with someone you love, especially if it’s someone you want to love at the end of the process. There are a few early checks you can do to see if you will in fact, be compatible through the process of dealing with tradespeople, picking paint colours, deciding on roof coverings or in fact working out who is going to go to the shops to get lunch.
Some pre renovation checks to consider. First, when you ask your partner what they would like for dinner, do they respond with ‘I’m not fussy”. This is a red alert. Next, you say, “OK, well I have steak or I have lamb chops, which would you prefer”. You get the response, “no really I’m not fussy”, So….. you say, “OK I’ll do lamb chops”. The next response you hear, incredibly, is “Oh……. I think I would have preferred steak”. Big warning sign right there…..
What you have established is a lack of willingness to have a viewpoint in the first instance, and a reluctance to make a decision, in case it's the wrong one. Far better there is someone else to blame for a decision.
Second, take home some paint palettes, ones with lots of colours. If you get, “there are too many there to choose from”, try and get some commitment as to whether you are going the browns, the yellows, the blues or the greens. If you can establish one palette, you are getting closer to a decision. Once you decide on one palette, say creams, this is where it begins to get very tricky.
If after weeks and weeks of working towards a commitment to a colour, doing your best not to give in to the frustration and finally, due to the painters turning up the next day, you advise you are out of time and must buy it, and get “OK it's a good colour”, don't be fooled.
When you go home with 80 litres of paint, having taken advantage of the 30% off sale on the paint you want, if you get a long look from your partner, who then says’ mmmmm,,,,,, I think I preferred the beige, STOP right there, do not proceed. Get a project manager, full time, to take on the role of addressing colour, texture and form with you jointly, as an independent referee.
This is how they earn their money. It’s not the sequencing, we can all do that with a task list, post it notes, a kanban wall or any other way of keeping track of the shit that needs to be done.
If, on the other hand, a decision is a decision, agreed with kindness and simplicity and respect for each others tastes and decorating desires, and you can do that amicably and with love, go forth and conquer…… you may both still be standing at the end of the process and enjoying the spoils of all your hard work.